As awareness of mental health continues to grow, many schools and parents have begun allowing students to take 'mental health days'—time off from school to focus on their emotional well-being. While these breaks can provide immediate relief from stress, there is growing concern about whether they teach kids to avoid their problems rather than confront them head-on. Are mental health days truly promoting self-care, or are they encouraging unhealthy habits and a cycle of avoidance?

I’ve been reflecting a lot on the idea of mental health days from school or work, especially since a couple of teenagers in my life have spoken about needing them. This concept was unheard of when I was in school and throughout most of my career. As a mental health therapist, you might assume I would be all for mental health days, but my background and education actually led me to dismiss the idea at first. Rather than rejecting it outright, I decided to consider both sides of the argument and process my own perspective before coming to a conclusion.

The Case for Mental Health Days

The argument in favor of mental health days is grounded in the importance of self-care and emotional well-being. Just as physical illness requires a sick day, emotional and psychological health also needs attention. Children, teens, and adults today face enormous pressures—academic and work demands, social media stress, and personal struggles—that can lead to burnout, anxiety, and even depression. A mental health day allows individuals to step away from these pressures, take a breath, and reset.

For some, taking a break can be an important opportunity to manage stress and prevent burnout. Mental health days can teach people to recognize when they’re overwhelmed and need to rest—an important lesson in setting healthy boundaries. For instance, taking a day off to recharge may allow them to return to school or work feeling emotionally stronger and better able to cope with challenges.

The Concern: Are We Teaching Our Youth Avoidance?

While the intent behind mental health days is good, there is a critical concern that they may teach children to avoid discomfort instead of developing the skills to tolerate and overcome anxiety. In treating anxiety, for example, we don’t encourage avoidance. Exposure to fear and discomfort, with the right coping strategies, is often the most effective way to reduce anxiety over time. If kids learn that taking a day off can solve their emotional struggles, they might miss out on crucial life lessons about facing and tolerating discomfort while building resilience.

Similarly, depression is often treated through behavioral activation, which encourages individuals to stay active, stick to routines, and connect with others—rather than isolating. But what happens when kids use their mental health days to binge-watch television, scroll social media, stay in bed, and avoid social interaction? While these behaviors may feel like an escape in the moment, they often worsen feelings of isolation, helplessness, and inactivity, which are hallmarks of depression. Without healthy coping strategies, a mental health day can easily turn into emotional avoidance, reinforcing the very struggles it’s supposed to address.

The Gray Area: How to Tell the Difference?

One of the biggest challenges when discussing mental health days is how to tell the difference between legitimate emotional exhaustion and avoidance. After all, facing anxiety or pushing through challenges doesn’t mean a child should work until they’re emotionally drained or overwhelmed. But if taking a break becomes an excuse to avoid things that are simply difficult or uncomfortable, it risks becoming a habit that undermines growth.

A healthy mental health day should ideally combine rest with productive recovery. This means taking time to recharge emotionally while also engaging in activities that promote well-being, such as taking a walk, journaling, connecting with friends, or preparing a healthy meal. It’s not just about avoiding stress, but about finding a balance between rest and self-care that empowers kids to face their challenges with renewed strength.

Teaching Kids to Manage Stress Holistically

While a mental health day might help in the short term, one day off isn’t going to solve a bigger, ongoing problem. True emotional resilience is built over time through consistent stress management practices and healthy coping skills. We need to teach kids how to manage their stress on a daily basis—things like learning to express their emotions, practicing mindfulness, getting regular exercise, eating nutritious meals, staying hydrated, and seeking therapy when necessary. These daily habits can help prevent burnout and build long-term emotional strength.

It’s also crucial to consider the bigger picture when stress becomes overwhelming. If your child is asking for a mental health day, think about the root cause. Are they taking too many core classes or overloading themselves with extracurricular activities? Do they have unrealistic expectations, or are they dealing with bullying? Are they struggling to say no or set healthy boundaries? Identifying these factors can make all the difference. The same principle applies to adults when they consider taking a mental health day from work. Mental health days are useful, but addressing the underlying stressors in their lives—whether it’s adjusting their schedule, seeking therapy, or finding better ways to manage their time—will have a far greater long-term impact on their emotional well-being.

It’s about creating a holistic approach to mental well-being that prepares people to face life’s challenges head-on, rather than using a mental health day as an easy escape. Therapy, mindfulness, emotional expression, and healthy habits should be part of a daily routine, not just tools for when someone becomes overwhelmed.

The Bigger Picture: Building Resilience for Adulthood

As kids grow into adults, they need to learn how to tolerate discomfort and manage stress in healthy ways. The skills they develop now—whether they’re about emotional regulation, problem-solving, or sticking to a routine—will impact how they cope with life’s pressures later on. If we give kids too many opportunities to avoid challenges, we risk creating a generation that doesn’t know how to push through difficulty, especially when they enter the workforce or face adult responsibilities.

I’m someone who falls in the middle of the generational divide—I’m a cusper, born in the transition years between Gen X and Millennials. My parents instilled in me the value of a strong work ethic. Life isn’t supposed to be easy, and work can be hard—but it’s important to show up, give your best, and get the job done. I want to raise my kids with that same mindset. Mental health is important, but it’s not always about avoiding work or responsibilities when things get tough. I’d rather teach my kids to take sick leave when they’re truly unwell, take all their vacation days to recharge, AND get the job done well.

In the workplace, calling in for a mental health day last-minute can have real consequences for employers and coworkers, especially if it’s part of a habit of avoidance. If you start feeling overwhelmed or burnt out, the right approach is to plan ahead, take a vacation, and spend that time purposefully engaging in activities that help you decompress. Developing the ability to manage stress and responsibilities is an invaluable skill—one that can help my kids navigate both life and work as they grow.

Mental Health and Chronic Conditions: A More Comprehensive Approach

It’s important to recognize that for some individuals, mental health challenges aren’t something that can be resolved with a single day off. Those with chronic mental illnesses, severe depression, psychosis, or highly suicidal thoughts may need more comprehensive support, including therapy, medications, and/or inpatient care. These are cases where the person may truly be unable to work for a period of time, but again, taking a mental health day will never be enough. Ongoing care, support, and a more complex wellness recovery plan are necessary.

Conclusion: A Balanced Approach
If you choose to take a mental health day, that's okay—use it wisely. But it's also important to recognize that not everyone has the privilege of paid sick leave or vacation time to take a mental health day whenever they feel it's needed. Does that mean they’re unable to prioritize their well-being? Absolutely not! There are many things people can do daily, both at work and at school, to effectively manage their mental health and prevent burnout. Small, consistent actions like practicing mindfulness, setting boundaries, staying connected with loved ones, and engaging in regular physical activity can go a long way in promoting well-being. The key is to make self-care a part of your routine, so that when stress does arise, you’re better equipped to tolerate it without needing to take a break from life.